No Man's Land

As an Asian American living in the U.S., it's a real strange time to exist right now. And if you've been critical of both the Chinese government and Trump, it's like there is no place for you. You get accused of being unpatriotic towards the U.S. or racist against the Chinese. This is both funny and sad, and indicative that people can no longer seem to have a nuanced opinion on things because people are so hell-bent on sticking you in some sort of category, or ideological tribe. But maybe this is just online culture. I sure hope so!

In day to day life, you'll see that people are visibly afraid or wary of you. I had one cashier look like she nearly had a heart attack when I approached her line. I felt so bad I wanted to turn around and go to a different one, but not sure which cashier would have reacted differently. Should I have held up my hands and said "I come in peace...without Corona?" Which is funny because I've probably travelled less than the average American.

If you're an Asian in a place with low diversity, you'll feel a little like a pariah right now. There have been plenty of reports around the world where violence has broken out against Asians. Recently some guy stabbed an Asian-looking man and his kid, who couldn't have been more than 8 or 9, in Texas, inside of a store.

In sum, if you're Asian, you may feel more concerned with getting harassed (or attacked on public transportation) than getting the actual virus, though that's a concern too.

The irritating thing is that I (along with many other Asians) have been super critical of the Chinese government, both now and in the past. Many of their government's questionable policies have affected the rest of the world, including my own country of origin (I'm not Chinese), and of course there is the issue of the policies they inflict against their own people. So when Trump says this is a "Chinese virus", I understand because I know he's saying it in part to deflect the vile accusations going around that the virus is actually American in origin. On the other hand, when Trump says it's a "Chinese virus", I also know a bunch of dummies who think Asia is one giant country and that all Asians or Chinese all stick together (they don't) will feel justified about harassing some poor old man or girl of Asian ethnicity in public (e.g., anybody who looks like they can't fight back.)

Anyway, I am grateful for all the other Americans out there who just continue being their decent selves.  There are also total strangers out there who seem like they are making an effort to be friendly to me these days, smiling and waving more than they used to, and I appreciate it.

Like everyone else, I hope this over soon. And safety for everyone at risk from the virus. I've wanted to volunteer too but not sure how people feel about someone Asian showing up to their door. Like I said, it's been strange times!